I know what I should do and I know what I need to do. I know how to do it even. My biggest problem right now is making myself follow through on the things I WANT to do. What’s the problem? I have the best of intentions. I want to succeed. I’m obviously in my own way. This is one barrier I am simply stumped on how to get past right now. And I’m going to keep this super short today because I’m really tired of everything here being so negative.


One thought on “Frustration

  1. I don’t know what makes a person start or keep going. For me I just started putting things in my life that kind of pushed me to keep moving forward. First was the walking for 30 mins everyday. Made a bet with a co-worker that I wouldn’t miss a day for 100 days. Then I joined TOPS and told everyone I wouldn’t miss a meeting for 1 full year. I just kept making myself accountable to other people, to people I saw everyday or at least every week. I didn’t seem capable of keeping myself going but knowing others were there seeing and knowing helped me. In the past I would always keep my efforts a secret. It was like I was telling myself I was going to fail before I started. It’s all so mental. I know therapy played a big part in it all too. I had already been seeing my therapist close to a year when I started losing weight. I think making connections between the past and present was a big thing for me too. How food was so related to my fears/anxiety. It was also very related to me having an opinion. If I wanted to voice my opinion but thought in any way it would cause confrontation I would stuff myself with food. There were just so many things about me attached to me stuffing food in not to feel or not to talk or not to be me. I treated myself like I was nothing, like I wasn’t worthy of good things, that if I wasn’t doing and saying what everyone else wanted I was nothing. So I just stuffed and stuffed the food in to keep my feelings, opinions, anger, etc in check.

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