Sleepless Nights

Well I’ve only been on the Abilify for 4 full days but that’s exactly how many nights I’ve spent tossing and turning. I’m taking it in the mornings so it will have less effect by bedtime but it doesn’t seem to be helping much. I’m not seeing a benefit from taking it either yet. It’s still early though. It could take weeks to adjust unfortunately so I’m trying to be patient, hope the insomnia eases up and my mood improves. I’m so irritable I can’t even stand myself!

I was leaving work Friday afternoon when my mood started shifting from just plain overwhelmed to cranky and depressed. I called my husband, wasn’t super nice, but he reacted extra badly (which he admits, it wasn’t all in my head) and we fought. Shortly after I sent him a text asking him to cancel all unnecessary weekend plans. I felt kinda bad about it, but I would rather make plans again if I felt good than spend the weekend bailing on everything and feeling guilty about it. And most of the weekend sucked. I’m being as nice as I can, apologizing when I can’t, and trying to keep my mouth shut. And I’m extra-irritated right now by the people that keep telling me things like “it will get better as the day goes” and “you can choose to be in a good mood”. No, I really can’t at this point. Believe me, I’m trying. I got up and had coffee, spent time playing with my dogs, then exercised, showered and ate a healthy breakfast full of veggies. I wore comfortable clothes that I could move in so I can try to walk as much as possible today. I listened to positive music in the car on my commute. I walked instead of taking the shuttle this morning so I could spend time outdoors as well. I just don’t know what else to do.

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