Like I said, Sunday I took my nephew with me to visit my biological family. It’s still a little awkward being around them and I’m not totally myself. My biological parents live there in separate homes, I have a full sister just down the road from them, a full brother, and like a dozen half-siblings I can barely keep track of plus all kinds of nieces and nephews and in-laws. This trip was the 3rd time I had met my sister, 2nd time for one my half-sisters, 3rd time I met my mother and 2nd time I met my father. I’ve met about half of the rest of them. I haven’t met or ever spoken to my brother because he’s in jail. The thing is, I have no desire to get to know my biological parents. I have (had) parents that I knew and loved and that raised me. I feel no connection to this set. I go to my sister’s house and everyone gathers there. My father just comes down to eat, sits around for a bit and leaves and that’s fine. My mother comes down and stays even later than me. And she stares at me. And I can barely understand her. And I really don’t know why but she makes me pretty uncomfortable. I feel like maybe I could relax with everyone else. I love and adore my sister. She tracked me down on Facebook last fall and we’ve kept in fairly close contact ever since. And her husband and 2 teenage boys are a lot of fun. She’s only 2 years older than I am. There’s always the questions about why my twin sister won’t come to visit. And I don’t know how to answer because I don’t understand why myself entirely. I mean, other than she has her head up her bum. Anyway we cooked out and just spent the day hanging out on the porch and in the yard, playing corn hole, talking and drinking. I had a good time and got much more comfortable with everyone except my mother. My nephew was so disappointed we couldn’t spend the night. I promised to take him to breakfast the next morning, just the two of us. When we left my sister hugged me and told me she loved me. It was so nice but a little odd for me too. My twin sister is nothing like that, she won’t let me hug her and she’s suspicious when I tell her I love her and usually just says “ok”. The next morning my dad was upset when I asked my nephew if he wanted to take his grandpa to breakfast with us and he said no. But I reminded my dad that my nephew doesn’t get much attention when there’s more people with us. When it’s just the two of us, he has 100% of my attention and isn’t told to be quiet. I got on the road at a decent hour. Three hours later my dad calls and says we have a problem. My nephew is crying and has been ever since I left. It broke my heart. He gave him the phone and I talked to him for a while and I just couldn’t seem to comfort him. Finally I promised that when I got home that night I would look at the calendar and figure out exactly when I could come back and call him so he would have a definite date to look forward to. And I did exactly that. Unfortunately it’s not until October 22nd and we’ll only manage to be in town about 36 hours but I confirmed plans with my dad, nephew and biological family too. My twin sister said she might go out of town that weekend so will be giving me permission to do anything I want with my nephew as long as I take responsibility the whole time I’m there so I’m sure we’ll have a good time. My husband will get to go this time too so I won’t have to miss him and he will get to meet some of my biological family for the very first time.