Support

I know I can’t expect to have any readers (anyone to comment) since I’m brand new to blogging and I don’t spend a whole lot of time commenting on other blogs. And for the most part, I’m happy to keep this anonymous, at least from anyone who knows me in real life. I’m just more comfortable that way. At the same time, I feel like I’m missing out on a great support network. I have no way to get feedback here. And sadly, my real life support is seriously lacking. I can’t talk to my friends because it seems the ones who are eating healthy feel the need to compete and the ones who aren’t eating healthy just think I’m crazy. Then there’s my husband who says he wants to eat healthy but won’t follow through and requires compromising on recipes. Or my dad who criticizes my weight but can’t stop talking about taking me out to eat with him. I feel awful alone over here trying to figure out my menu each week and motivate myself to stick to it and to increase my activity level.

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Brussel Sprout Casserole

This was so yummy, even my husband loved it! (Of course, he did recommend adding chopped bacon.)

  • 18 oz bag frozen brussel sprouts, thawed
  • 2 cups cooked rice (I used 1 cup white and 1 cup brown)
  • 1/2 cup shredded parmesan
  • salt, pepper & garlic powder to taste
  • 1/2 can healthy request cream of chicken soup
  • 2 tbsp plain yogurt
  • 1/2 cup red onion, chopped

Saute the onions until soft. Chop the bottoms off the brussel sprouts, then slice or chop them. (I had baby sprouts so I only cut them in half). Mix all ingredients well. Put mixture in a greased casserole dish, cover with foil or a lid and bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes. I knew it was done when it was bubbly and the edges were browning. Makes 4 generous servings. Yay leftovers!

Improvements

And so the struggles continue… I managed better than usual (so far). Last night at 9:30 our foster dog collapsed. The poor guy has had one health problem after another and has collapsed once before so I didn’t panic at first. After a few minutes, I saw this wasn’t like the previous episode. Instead of bouncing back after a minute, he was staying down, twitching, coherent, but unsteady with pupils dilated wild. An hour and 3 phone calls with the rescue coordinator later, I was on the phone with the emergency vet making arrangements to meet him at the clinic. The medications he is on had built up to toxic levels in his system and he had to be treated as an overdose and kept for observation and further treatment. It was a long and stressful evening and I don’t want to think about the bill, I just hope he’s feeling better soon and we can bring him home. I made it to bed about 1:00am only to get up from 3-4am when my husband got home from work so I could catch him up on what was happening. The old Jenn wouldn’t have come to work today but I made it, and on time even. I did eat a poor breakfast but made up for it quickly (as far as calories, not nutrition) by not having my usual morning snack. I’m exhausted and the real test will be tonight when I’m really feeling miserable and wanting something comforting. Hopefully my body will accept some doggie cuddles, an early bedtime and maybe a hot bath instead of convincing me I really deserve that big bowl of pasta.

Always a Struggle

I had another dentist appointment yesterday. Why did I ever let my teeth get in such bad shape? I’ve had six fillings done in the last three weeks and still have eight left to be done. I don’t really understand why having them done causes me so much pain. The dentist always warns me about sensitivity and that kind of thing. Fine. I expected to be able to open my mouth far enough to take advil though. The meal plan for the rest of the week has been completely thrown off. Last night sucked as I ate whatever I could find and none of it was healthy. My husband took pity on me and went to the store though so today I had lentil soup for lunch. Fortunately we have leftover couscous in the fridge so tonight I will toss it with some peas and a little bit of parmesan and it won’t be such a bad dinner.

It just feels like there is always something new throwing me off track, something new to overcome. And sometimes I wonder if I’m a wimp and life is just like this. Sometimes I wonder if I’m making mountains out of molehills and using these things as excuses for bad behavior.

I’ve decided for now that I just don’t have the coping skills to deal with these setbacks but I can learn them. That’s right. I will practice. I WILL get to a point where throwing together a healthy meal is second nature.

Where to begin

I think about writing here often but I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to log on just to post something tiny and trivial. If I did that, I would probably post four times a day. At least four. And then, when I think of something, like where I am with weight loss, my thoughts are such a jumble. I know no one else will be reading this but I would like it to at least be coherent.

Menu planning is wearing me out. It’s so tough to find ideas that are healthy that are also simple enough for my husband to help with and that he’s willing to eat. Especially since he’s not a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He’s simply a meat with meat guy. His idea of helping me meal plan is to decide which cut of meat to cook and how to cook it. He gets tired of vegetables quickly and thinks all whole grains taste like dirt. And yet, if we just agree to cook separately for ourselves, I won’t put any effort in and will burn out and return to microwave meals.

Right now I’m compromising the best I can. Sometimes I just eat the white pasta or dough but I make sure to watch the portion and load up on lean protein and veggies while leaving the majority of it for him to finish. And yet, I know white pasta in particular is one of my worst enemies. I had it for dinner last night and two hours later I was hungry again. I’m also hungrier today even though I ate a solid breakfast. At least with rice he doesn’t seem to notice if I mix half brown rice and half white rice and it helps some.

I know there’s a huge variety of vegetables out there but I guess I just don’t know what to do with them. It seems I keep making minor variations to the same onions, mushrooms, zucchini, tomatoes and bell peppers. I’m really not much of a fan of broccoli or cauliflower unless they’re smothered in cheese. Or carrots unless they’re sauteed in butter and dill. I get tired of eating meat about every other week and start making vegetarian dishes and telling my husband he can add a piece of meat to his own if he really needs it. And maybe I should look for more of those options and try to work in more beans and lentils for protein although I don’t really know what to do with them either. I love eggs but they just aren’t all that convenient. My husband hates fish and shellfish is just too expensive for more than an occasional treat.

Maybe the next time I reach a goal I should be rewarding myself with cooking classes! Now, to find a healthy one that’s somewhat local…..

Men Suck

Oh, not really. They’re just a bad influence. I’ve always had mostly male friends and I consider my husband my best friend. I love that they are so laid back and drama free and the way that rubs off on me. The problem is that I can be too laid back around my husband and male friends. For example, last night, I ate an entire dinner order of chinese food. Just battered and deep fried chicken in sauce and fried rice, a couple broccoli florets that didn’t do much to balance it. I’m too comfortable with my husband about food. I give myself permission around him to have anything I want and to eat as much as I want. And I put weight back on every weekend for it. The worst part is, I feel miserable when I do it. And I suspect that will be the case even before I do it but for some reason that’s not enough to stop me. It’s a horrible habit that I have to find a way to break.

I don’t see my husband hardly at all during the week because I work 8am-5pm and he works 5pm-2am. On one hand, I miss him. On the other, I’m healthier during the week. But I’m undoing all my hard work every weekend. 5 days is not enough to firmly establish good habits that can override the bad ones I have on Saturday and Sunday. I’m too comfortable. It’s too easy to curl up with a movie and our dogs. It doesn’t matter that I’ve been saying all day we should go for a bike ride when the temperature drops at dusk. I trade it all for the couch, a carton of chinese food, my husband and our furkids. There has to be a better way. I really do believe that it is key for me to break this pattern if I’m going to succeed and I just have to figure out how.

Stuffed Tomatoes

I made this just the other day and my husband actually loved it! I even resisted putting anything green in it although that’s tough for me these days and I’m sure I could have figured out something that would fit in nicely.

  1. 2 large tomatoes
  2. 1 cup cooked wild rice
  3. 1 cup sliced mushrooms
  4. 1 cup chopped red onion
  5. 2 slices bacon
  6. 2 tbsp shredded parmesan

Cut the tops off the tomatoes and scoop out the insides. Be sure to save them to use in another recipe! Cut up the bacon into small pieces (easiest with scissors or while half frozen) and put them in a hot skillet. When they are about halfway cooked, add the onions and mushrooms and saute them. Since you will have some bacon grease in the pan, do NOT add oil. When they are almost done, add in the cooked wild rice and mix well. Spoon the mixture into the tomatoes. Top each one with a tbsp of parmesan. Bake, broil or microwave just until the cheese melts some. Enjoy!